Dr Jessica Sneha Gray

“In the end, we won’t remember the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” — Martin Luther King Jr.

These words echo powerfully in a time where voices are being drowned out by division. From the tragic death of Charlie Kirk, silenced in an act of violence, to the ongoing conflicts tearing communities apart around the world, we are reminded that polarisation does not stop at borders. It seeps into our conversations, our politics, and even our neighbourhoods here in New Zealand.

I have walked the streets of the Eastern Bay, spoken with farmers in Galatea, business leaders in Kawerau, and whānau across Whakatāne. I hear the same thing again and again: people are tired of division. They want dialogue, not silence. They want to be heard without fear of being attacked for what they believe. And yet, too often, we see voices shut down — not with reasoned debate, but with hostility, with apathy, or with violence.

Globally, wars continue to rage, tearing families apart and leaving generations traumatised. In New Zealand, debates around co-governance, environmental reform, and even local decision-making often descend into bitter polarisation. Instead of seeking understanding, many retreat into their corners, unwilling to engage with those who think differently. Silence follows, and that silence is dangerous.

As an investigator, I know that silence rarely brings resolution. It hides the truth, allowing fear and resentment to grow unchecked. Real progress happens when we sit at the table, even with those we oppose, and commit to hearing one another. Leadership demands this. Not echo chambers. Not shouting matches. Not empty quiet. But listening, questioning, and finding balance.

Charlie Kirk’s death is a stark reminder that disagreement must never escalate into destruction. His ideas may have divided opinion, but he had a right to voice them — just as others had the right to challenge them. When we lose the ability to talk through differences, we lose the foundations of democracy itself.

As elections approach let's make sure we choose those who will represent all voices. Not just those who agree. Not just those who share a certain worldview. Because the measure of leadership is not how well we align with one group, but how fairly we carry the perspectives of many. We are stronger when we keep talking, even when it is hard, especially when it is uncomfortable.

New Zealand cannot afford to drift into the same kind of silences that allow polarisation to harden. We must model something different: kōrero, respect, and courage. Globally, nationally, and locally, our communities need leaders who do not shy away from hard conversations, but step into them with open ears and open hearts.

The truth is, silence is not neutral. Silence chooses a side. And if we do not break that silence with conversation, with courage, and with connection, then polarisation will only deepen.

So let us remember King’s challenge. Let us not be silent friends. Let us speak, listen, and act with integrity. For our region, for New Zealand, and for a world that desperately needs dialogue over division.